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Look at me,
     Tell me everything you see.
           What do you see? Are you sure you're seeing me?
                      I promise you that you're hardly catching a glimpse of what I really am.

If you could look deeper,
You'd see the ever-present demons in my mind,
& How hard they are to keep confined.

You'd see all the scars, hidden underneath my skin:
One for every single time I've thought about feeling the sweet release of the razor,
Or dreamed about the loving, easy, & soft embrace of death.

If you could look a little bit deeper,
You'd see the monsters blocking my heart,
& You'd see them whispering to me-
You'd hear them say that I'm never good enough, that I'm alone no matter what I do.
{There's no point in trying,
'Cause I wont be able to do it anyway}


If you looked a little harder,
You'd see this sickness plaguing my soul,
Trying to destroy me,
& Trying to kill my dreams.

If you looked into my eyes,
Behind the sparkles, eyeliner, and mascara,
You'd see all my secrets that I try my best to hide;
You'd see the memories that haunt me,
& Maybe then you could find out how to help me.

If you took a closer look,
You'd realize that you c-a-n-t s.a.v.e. |m|e|,
Because darling, you're dealing with a disease; a plague; a sickness of the soul.
It's never going to go away,
It has no cure.

If you could see my thoughts,
You'd understand why I feel the way I do,
& How nothing within me is simple,
Because I'm infected.
& There's no way to make it end permanently,
In one way or another, I'll be suffering,
Silently.

I'm sick,
& There's no way for me to be healed.

If you could look closer,
You'd see everything that I wish I didn't have to be.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm controlled by my illness, like I have no choice in what I do.
It's almost like I have to hide,
Just so my sickness doesn't destroy me from the inside.

If you really looked at me,
You'd see the never-ending fight between my hope & my despair.
{Sometimes one side will beat the other, but nothing is permanent}

Sometimes, oh sometimes, I'm actually okay.
But, don't leave me alone,
'Cause when I'm alone,
My demons like to come out and play,
& Try to tear apart my heart.

If you looked at me,
You'd see that I can't control how I feel,
You'd see that these emotions come and go as they please,
& You'd know it's not a choice.
{Who would choose to feel like this?}

If you could look inside my mind, you'd understand why I want to do the things I do.

But you can't look closer,
You can't feel what I do,
'Cause unless you have the illness, you can't & won't be able to understand,
'Cause darling, you're dealing with an illness, you're dealing with a sickness,
A disease, a plague of the soul, something that never really goes away.

You're dealing with depression, and it doesn't like to stay away.
Written: 6/6/11

Just a little something I wrote when I was thinking about my depression, and things like that. I hope you guys enjoy!

This is now in video form:
Watch it here. (:

Feedback Questions

-What are your immediate after thoughts?
-What did you feel while reading the poem?
-Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than any of the others?
-Was the poem too long?
-Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?

Thanks guys! Feedback really helps and it makes my day! (:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmarashete:
This poem stands out in many ways. From the formatting to the actual words themselves, it's heartfelt and eye-catching.

"Because darling, you're dealing with a disease; a plague; a sickness of the soul." Captures depression perfectly. The impact of this line got me. I looked away and looked back again. The impacts of each of your lines is absolutely perfect. Nothing wrong there.

There are a few things about the formatting I don't like personally, but they don't bring down the overall feeling of the poem, nor the message you're trying to get across. For example, the quite odd formatting you used on "You'd realize you can't save me" takes away from the text a little bit. For this, and only this, I rated technique lower than the other three.

I rated originality down a little only because there are a lot of depression poems out there, but none quite like this. Four and a half stars.

Vision was given a five out of five because everything in this poem screamed exactly what feels like you can't.

This whole poem is fantastic; great job!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
22 out of 22 deviants thought this was fair.

:icondarkheartlycan:
Q: What are your immediate after thoughts?
A: My afterthoughts were that you have a real talent for writing and poetery.
Q: What did you feel while reading the poem?
A: I felt that you were really putting your heart and soul into trying to get the message out.
Q: Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than any of the others?
A: Yes: 'You'd realize that you c-a-n-t s.a.v.e. |m|e|'. This one got to me because it was like you were telling someone this. (Probably the point, but I'm kinda dim)
Q: Was the poem too long?
A: No, I think the lengh didn't matter, just how beautifully it was written.
Q: Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?
A: Just the right amount, I'd say. You really know how to write a good poem!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconsurfworldmajor:
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If you really looked at me,
You'd see the never-ending fight between my hope & my despair.
{Sometimes one side will beat the other, but nothing is permanent}

This stood out to me because this is exactly what I'm trying to get across to someone but I'm glad they continue to give me support.
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
this is really nice....
immediate thoughts? idk... is it really incurable?
i feel it to be true?
all of them are amazing
definitely not
i think it's enough
maybe i didn't use the most perfect words for the feedback, but this is awesome
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the feedback. (:
Reply
:iconlolimoetan:
LoliMoetan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Fully Can Understand This. And It Gets To The Point, Where I Am Truly In Love With It. Though.. Somewhere, Somehow, I know... I Don't. But Meh..? I Don't Care Anymore.
Reply
:iconcaledoncat:
CaledonCat Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't give up dear.One day there will be someone who isn't blind who will be able to see you.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconqaji:
qaji Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
feeling the same:(
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It gets better. :hug:
Reply
:iconnukilikulva:
NukilikUlva Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Q: What are your immediate afterthoughts?
A: Oh my god... this describes me perfectly
Q: What did you feel while reading the poem?
A: Somone understands me
Q: Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than the others?
A: All of it
Q: Was the poem too long?
A: I don't think so
Q: Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?
A: Just enough

I LOVE this it touches me and I relate to it. Please keep writing :love: :blackrose:
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the feedback! :3

Don't worry, for me, I simply HAVE to write. So, I wont ever stop, hahaa x3
Reply
:iconnukilikulva:
NukilikUlva Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I know what you mean, writing becomes apart of us :heart:
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly :3
Reply
:iconjerichovil:
Jerichovil Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012
I know this feeling all too well...
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's quite unfortunate to know the feeling, but I'm glad I presented it in such a way that you could understand the feeling :3
Reply
:iconcashmerestylz:
cashmerestylz Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012
Because I’m infected,
& There’s no way to make it end permanently,
In one way or another, I’ll be suffering,
Silently.

Is this about HIV because that’s what it sounds like ^^
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you read the title, or the rest of the poem, you'd know how absolutely ridiculous that sounds.
Reply
:iconcashmerestylz:
cashmerestylz Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012
Absolutely not! i will not get tricked into reading the entire poem. Anyway poems are for gays, so even if i wanted to i couldn’t.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, then you're just wasting your own seemingly valuable time. I don't even understand why you clicked on this if you don't like poetry.
Reply
:iconcashmerestylz:
cashmerestylz Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2012
No you see i didn’t click intentionally it was an accident. Then i saw how crap it was and decided to go blah.
Reply
:iconcaledoncat:
CaledonCat Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
HOW DARE YOU.How can you be so CRUEL and COLD-HEARTED.For a person that really feels that way, it is just SO hard to be brave enough to write down his/her feelings.
HOW DARE YOU TO HURT A PERSON LIKE THIS EVEN MORE?
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you clicked it on accident, and you don't enjoy poetry, why did you even bother to say anything? You could have easily clicked back and gone back where you wanted to be.
Reply
:iconcashmerestylz:
cashmerestylz Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2012
Because i saw how crap it was and decided to go blah.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Just because you don't enjoy something does not mean it is crap, and why would you want to even waste the energy to type a comment on something thats crap? To me, it seems like a waste of time.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontaciturnemo:
TaciturNemo Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
A very touching poem. While I know next to nothing about poetry and don't suffer from any diagnosed depression, it still stuck a cord with me. I often feel down for no reason, as I am sure many people do.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. <3 It means a lot that I was able to touch you through this piece.
:heart:
Reply
:iconfox914:
fox914 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
I don't really go looking for poetry on this site, but I was drawn to this by the title. A guy very, very dear to me recently told me that he may be suffering from depression (and we are taking a break from our relationship because of it). I just feel so bad because I feel so helpless. The last thing I want to do is put pressure on him, but I hope he remembers that I'll always be there for him.

^^; So, anyway, I'm glad I read this, and I really hope that YOU will be okay, just like I hope he'll be okay too.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's hard to watch someone you care about deal with depression. I watched my mom go through it, and now, I'm going through it. Every person is different, though. However, it's his fight, all you can do is support him and make sure he knows that he's worth something :3

Thank you, and I'm getting better, and I'm sure he'll be okay, and I'm sure that given time, he'll be able to deal with it in better ways and get better himself :3
Reply
:iconfox914:
fox914 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012
Aww, thanks for replying. ^^; and for the advice.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No problem :3
Reply
:iconemmerd:
Emmerd Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is my feeling exactly.. I'm just wondering if there is really no way to get out of this hell.

Beautiful poem, I don't think it could be any better.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The way to get out of it is to fight, and have support. It wont go away forever, but every victory is indeed a victory. It's hard, but life is worth living. <3

Thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconemmerd:
Emmerd Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah.. I don't really have support, maybe that's why I don't think that life is worth living.

Your welcome c:
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's always someone who can support you, sometimes you just have to let them. :3

:3 <3
Reply
:iconryanwhomclimbs:
Ryanwhomclimbs Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Student Photographer
You know this was absolutely amazing... I cut a lot when I was younger due to depression and then I stopped for like two years. Then two nights ago I was cutting again. This puts words to how people feel and can't discribe
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. I'm sorry that you have felt so bad that you cut. It's a horrible feeling. I hope you feel better. :hug:

Thank you. <3
Reply
:iconinverseskies:
inverseskies Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Ah, I was feeling the same way today, People don't take me seriously, because I always look so happy xD
normally, I don't comment on deviations very well, and I don't share my feelings very well, but this made me look back, It's nice to see you express your feelings so freely, I don't do such a thing very well, even with my closest of friends. I think you are very, (I'm not sure how to say it in english) but I think you are brave, I'm not sure that's the right word, sorry I can't express myself in english well :) Well, I think this is well written. I'm sorry if I said anything weird in english...;; ^^;
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
That happens way too often. People don't realize that sometimes the people who seem happy are the ones who hurt the most. I'm glad you like it, and thank you for commenting. :3

And don't worry, I understood everything you said. :3
Reply
:iconsammy66613:
sammy66613 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
The stanza about cutting spoke to me the most. I loved it and I described me. exceptionally extrodinary
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. <3
Reply
:iconsammy66613:
sammy66613 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
no problem. I really loved read ing something I could relate my paun with. and I love deviantart for that. thank you and I hoep your feeling better
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconhermione-3000:
Hermione-3000 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
very well written and captures the fealing of depresion well. There is a cure, you need counseling, please try and find help before you do somthing perminant to yourself.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :3

I'm in counseling, and I have been for 8 years. It has helped, but when I wrote this, I was going through a really rough time. Thank you for your concern, though :3
Reply
:iconxoxorainbow:
xoxorainbow Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
I literally burst into tears reading this.
You've expressed in words what I go through everyday. I truly thankyou, because you've done what I cannot, which is put words to how I feel.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad my work could touch you, and that it captured the feeling.

:heart:
Reply
:iconderiandavid:
DerianDavid Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
wow this is really good!
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! (:
Reply
:iconsparrowsflame:
SparrowsFlame Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You captured the feelings of depression perfectly. I'm glad to know there are others who feel the same. :hug: Wonderful piece.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! (:
Reply
:iconsparrowsflame:
SparrowsFlame Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
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