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Submitted on
February 10, 2012
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Look at me,
     Tell me everything you see.
           What do you see? Are you sure you're seeing me?
                      I promise you that you're hardly catching a glimpse of what I really am.

If you could look deeper,
You'd see the ever-present demons in my mind,
& How hard they are to keep confined.

You'd see all the scars, hidden underneath my skin:
One for every single time I've thought about feeling the sweet release of the razor,
Or dreamed about the loving, easy, & soft embrace of death.

If you could look a little bit deeper,
You'd see the monsters blocking my heart,
& You'd see them whispering to me-
You'd hear them say that I'm never good enough, that I'm alone no matter what I do.
{There's no point in trying,
'Cause I wont be able to do it anyway}


If you looked a little harder,
You'd see this sickness plaguing my soul,
Trying to destroy me,
& Trying to kill my dreams.

If you looked into my eyes,
Behind the sparkles, eyeliner, and mascara,
You'd see all my secrets that I try my best to hide;
You'd see the memories that haunt me,
& Maybe then you could find out how to help me.

If you took a closer look,
You'd realize that you c-a-n-t s.a.v.e. |m|e|,
Because darling, you're dealing with a disease; a plague; a sickness of the soul.
It's never going to go away,
It has no cure.

If you could see my thoughts,
You'd understand why I feel the way I do,
& How nothing within me is simple,
Because I'm infected.
& There's no way to make it end permanently,
In one way or another, I'll be suffering,
Silently.

I'm sick,
& There's no way for me to be healed.

If you could look closer,
You'd see everything that I wish I didn't have to be.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm controlled by my illness, like I have no choice in what I do.
It's almost like I have to hide,
Just so my sickness doesn't destroy me from the inside.

If you really looked at me,
You'd see the never-ending fight between my hope & my despair.
{Sometimes one side will beat the other, but nothing is permanent}

Sometimes, oh sometimes, I'm actually okay.
But, don't leave me alone,
'Cause when I'm alone,
My demons like to come out and play,
& Try to tear apart my heart.

If you looked at me,
You'd see that I can't control how I feel,
You'd see that these emotions come and go as they please,
& You'd know it's not a choice.
{Who would choose to feel like this?}

If you could look inside my mind, you'd understand why I want to do the things I do.

But you can't look closer,
You can't feel what I do,
'Cause unless you have the illness, you can't & won't be able to understand,
'Cause darling, you're dealing with an illness, you're dealing with a sickness,
A disease, a plague of the soul, something that never really goes away.

You're dealing with depression, and it doesn't like to stay away.
Written: 6/6/11

Just a little something I wrote when I was thinking about my depression, and things like that. I hope you guys enjoy!

This is now in video form:
Watch it here. (:

Feedback Questions

-What are your immediate after thoughts?
-What did you feel while reading the poem?
-Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than any of the others?
-Was the poem too long?
-Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?

Thanks guys! Feedback really helps and it makes my day! (:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmarashete:
This poem stands out in many ways. From the formatting to the actual words themselves, it's heartfelt and eye-catching.

"Because darling, you're dealing with a disease; a plague; a sickness of the soul." Captures depression perfectly. The impact of this line got me. I looked away and looked back again. The impacts of each of your lines is absolutely perfect. Nothing wrong there.

There are a few things about the formatting I don't like personally, but they don't bring down the overall feeling of the poem, nor the message you're trying to get across. For example, the quite odd formatting you used on "You'd realize you can't save me" takes away from the text a little bit. For this, and only this, I rated technique lower than the other three.

I rated originality down a little only because there are a lot of depression poems out there, but none quite like this. Four and a half stars.

Vision was given a five out of five because everything in this poem screamed exactly what feels like you can't.

This whole poem is fantastic; great job!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
22 out of 22 deviants thought this was fair.

:icondarkheartlycan:
Q: What are your immediate after thoughts?
A: My afterthoughts were that you have a real talent for writing and poetery.
Q: What did you feel while reading the poem?
A: I felt that you were really putting your heart and soul into trying to get the message out.
Q: Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than any of the others?
A: Yes: 'You'd realize that you c-a-n-t s.a.v.e. |m|e|'. This one got to me because it was like you were telling someone this. (Probably the point, but I'm kinda dim)
Q: Was the poem too long?
A: No, I think the lengh didn't matter, just how beautifully it was written.
Q: Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?
A: Just the right amount, I'd say. You really know how to write a good poem!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconsurfworldmajor:
surfworldMajor Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
If you really looked at me,
You'd see the never-ending fight between my hope & my despair.
{Sometimes one side will beat the other, but nothing is permanent}

This stood out to me because this is exactly what I'm trying to get across to someone but I'm glad they continue to give me support.
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
this is really nice....
immediate thoughts? idk... is it really incurable?
i feel it to be true?
all of them are amazing
definitely not
i think it's enough
maybe i didn't use the most perfect words for the feedback, but this is awesome
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the feedback. (:
Reply
:iconlolimoetan:
LoliMoetan Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Fully Can Understand This. And It Gets To The Point, Where I Am Truly In Love With It. Though.. Somewhere, Somehow, I know... I Don't. But Meh..? I Don't Care Anymore.
Reply
:iconcaledoncat:
CaledonCat Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Don't give up dear.One day there will be someone who isn't blind who will be able to see you.
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconqaji:
qaji Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2012
feeling the same:(
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It gets better. :hug:
Reply
:iconnukilikulva:
NukilikUlva Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Q: What are your immediate afterthoughts?
A: Oh my god... this describes me perfectly
Q: What did you feel while reading the poem?
A: Somone understands me
Q: Did any stanza or phrase stand out to you more than the others?
A: All of it
Q: Was the poem too long?
A: I don't think so
Q: Was there too much, not enough, or just the right amount of decoration?
A: Just enough

I LOVE this it touches me and I relate to it. Please keep writing :love: :blackrose:
Reply
:iconspuffy12:
Spuffy12 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much for the feedback! :3

Don't worry, for me, I simply HAVE to write. So, I wont ever stop, hahaa x3
Reply
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